Nasdaq's "Rally"? More Like a Dead Cat Bounce in a Tech Bro's Coffin
So, the Nasdaq eked out a few days of gains after Thanksgiving. Big deal. Let's not pretend this is some roaring comeback. We're talking about a pathetic 0.65% bump on Friday, while the index *still* managed to tank almost 2% for the whole damn month. Call it a "losing month" all you want, but I call it reality finally slapping some sense into the AI-addled brains of Wall Street. According to
Stock market today: Dow, S&P 500, Nasdaq rally to cap volatile week, losing month, the Nasdaq did rally to cap a volatile week, but still ended the month with a loss.
And this whole Fed rate cut charade? Give me a break. Brian Mulberry from Zacks Investment Management is "80% to 85% certain" we're getting a cut in a few weeks. Oh really, Brian? Since when did the Fed become so predictable? Last I checked, they were about as reliable as a politician's promise.
AI Bubble Bursts: Who's Surprised, Really?
The AI Hype Train is Derailing, Finally
The article mentions "doubt swirled around the future profitability of AI companies." No freakin' kidding. It's like everyone suddenly realized that AI isn't magic, and that maybe, just maybe, these companies are wildly overvalued. All those promises of AI revolutionizing everything? Turns out, most of it is just fancy marketing and algorithms that still can't tell the difference between a cat and a toaster.
Nvidia taking a hit? Good. Maybe now people will stop treating GPUs like they're made of gold.
Speaking of gold, remember Bitcoin? Down 7%? Heh.
Rate Cut Hopes: More Like Delusional Fantasies?
Rate Cuts and Reality Checks
So, the market got a "shot of hope" because some Fed official hinted at a possible rate cut. Seriously? We're hanging our hats on *that*? A single vague statement is enough to send the whole damn system into a frenzy? What does that say about the stability of this whole house of cards?
And this whole "easing trend" that's supposedly continuing into the new year? I'll believe it when I see it. Because let's be real, the Fed's track record ain't exactly stellar. It's more like they're constantly reacting to crises they helped create in the first place.
Oh, and the Personal Consumption Expenditures index? Rose 0.3% monthly, 2.9% annually. Above the Fed's 2% target. So, inflation is still a thing. Consumer sentiment is down. But hey, let's just keep printing money and pretend everything is fine. It's the American way, offcourse.
Geopolitics, Tariffs, and Toddler Tantrums?
Geopolitical Circus and Tariff Tantrums
Wait, what was that about Trump, Vance, and Zelensky having a shouting match in the Oval Office? What the hell does that have to do with the stock market? Oh, right, everything is connected now. Geopolitics, tariffs, presidential temper tantrums—it's all one big, beautiful mess.
I swear, sometimes I think the entire global economy is being run by a bunch of toddlers with access to nuclear weapons.
It's All Just Smoke and Mirrors, Folks
